Welcoming a new baby is life changing. While we often celebrate the joy and excitement a little one brings, the fourth trimester (those first weeks and months after birth) can feel overwhelming. Parents pour so much energy into caring for their baby that it's easy for their own needs to slip to the bottom of the priority list.
That’s where self-care comes in. Self-care supports your mental, physical, and emotional health during a major life transition. One helpful way to think about self-care is through NESTS for well-being, which highlights five key areas to support perinatal mental health:
- N – Nutrition (healthy eating): Eat foods that you enjoy, in amounts that are satisfying to you. Feed yourself regularly to get enough energy and nutrition.
- E – Exercise (physical activity): Move your body in ways, and amounts, that feel good to you. Exercise can help you to feel happier, more energized, less stressed, and sleep better.
- S – Sleep and rest: Rest when you can. Even if you aren't getting the sleep that you need right now, rest can help to improve your mood and reduce stress.
- T – Time for yourself: Spend time doing things you like to do. Even a few minutes a day can help recharge mood, energy levels, and add balance to your life.
- S – Support: Most importantly, ask for help. All parents need support from others. It really does take a village.
This story focuses on the “T” in NESTS: Time for yourself. Even small moments—a quiet shower, a short walk, or a hobby you love—can help restore balance and build resilience. Haylee, a first-time parent, shares how she’s learning to find those moments while caring for her baby.
The early days: a world turned upside down
“When I had my baby, my world was rocked,” Haylee said. “In the early days, it was overwhelming trying to care for a tiny human while figuring out how to care for myself too.”
Before becoming a parent, Haylee loved being busy and active. After her baby arrived, she realized she needed to slow down.
“It’s good to take time for yourself and do less,” she explained. Her husband often reminds her to rest, a message that became especially important after her unexpected cesarean birth (c-section).
Recovery and asking for help
“I didn’t prepare for that scenario,” Haylee shared. “I’d never had major surgery before. Suddenly, I couldn’t bend over or pick things up. It was humbling.”
This meant asking for help—a challenge for someone used to being independent. “I’m not someone who likes to rely on people," she said. "Letting go and meeting myself where I was at—that was tough.”
In those early weeks, simple things felt like big wins: taking a shower, eating something nourishing, or stepping outside for fresh air. Support from family and friends made a huge difference, especially when they brought meals.
“That helped so much,” Haylee said.
Finding time for yourself
Now that her baby is six months old, Haylee feels the fog lifting and breastfeeding has been both wonderful and challenging.
“It’s getting easier,” she reflected. “I’m her main food source, so I keep her close. It won’t be forever, but for now, I only get away for an hour or two at a time.”
When she does step away, Haylee uses that time to recharge—meeting friends, going for a walk, or joining mom-friendly fitness classes. “Staying active helps me feel like myself,” she explained. “I love walking my dog with my baby or doing workouts with other moms. We keep the babies in the room, socialize, and move our bodies.”
She also makes time for some activities without her baby when she can. “I've been taking classes with friends including pottery and floral arrangements," she said.
Having family nearby helps Haylee too. Her advice for other new parents: “Spend time doing things you enjoy. Even a few minutes a day can recharge your mood and energy.”
Physical recovery and planning ahead
“I wanted to get back to being active, but I had to take it slow,” Haylee noted. Climbing stairs was difficult at first, and even short moments outside felt like progress. “Getting outside and moving, those factors were key to feeling better.”
One practical tip she shared was to book a pelvic floor physiotherapy appointment early if you can. “There’s a shortage, and waitlists can be long. Getting on a list before things become urgent was solid advice," she said.
It's important to note that not all communities have this service, and it may involve costs. To learn more: A guide to early postpartum pelvic floor health.
Looking forward
Haylee is excited for winter. “I’ve been doing a snow dance!” she laughed. She looks forward to ski days during maternity leave and experiencing it with her baby. “I want to experience winter through her eyes. Do things together and keep doing things I love.”
Learn more about NESTS and self-care for new parents:
- Nutrition: Feeding the postpartum family: Healthy eating is part of self-care
- Exercise/physical activity: Self-care for new moms: physical activity can help
- Sleep/rest: Helping tired parents: Ways you can support their self-care after baby arrives
- Support: Perinatal mental health (see support options in BC)
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