“People don’t see me as somebody who managed 50 health care professionals, or someone who has two bachelor’s degrees and a black belt in martial arts,” says Cindy. “All they see is that I’m on disability and that I’m a drug addict.”
If not for her family, her dog, and the team of healthcare professionals who treated her with respect and compassion, Cindy might have succumbed to the temptation to end her own suffering, and this story would never have been written.
A natural athlete – and a fighter
Cindy has always been a fighter - literally. As a teen, she was a Canadian martial arts champion, and as an adult, she continued to earn medals at the national level, attaining the rank of Shodan, or first-degree black belt.
In the classroom, that mentality served Cindy well.
“I’m strong-willed,” she says, recalling that she was one of the only students from her high school class to go on to university. “I don’t believe you have to be smart to go to university; you just have to be willing to work hard.”
After graduation, she enrolled at the University of British Columbia, obtaining two degrees that paved the way for her career as a health care professional. After some initial work in elder care, home care, and intensive care, Cindy went on to work in Utah, California, and Washington State, gaining experience and broadening her horizons.
But homesickness brought her back to Canada, where she became a health care team leader in the Lower Mainland. By the early 2000s, she was managing a health care portfolio for an entire community, had bought her dream home, and was living life to the fullest with a wonderful partner.
Addiction enters the picture
Cindy and her American partner got married in Canada, and registered a domestic partnership in the US, where they spent most of their time. “She had a medical background, and she got her Ph.D. when she was only 22,” says Cindy. “But she was so intelligent that it was hard for her to cope with the world, and I soon realized she was an alcoholic.”
During the next two years, her partner faced recurring admissions to intensive care due to alcohol-related health issues. Despite nightly refusals of help, Cindy would repeatedly be forced to call the ambulance to take her partner to hospital as her condition worsened. After many failed attempts to break this cycle, their relationship ended, and Cindy returned to Canada.
However, her life soon began to unravel. First, she suffered a debilitating injury to her lower back on the job, meaning she was no longer able to work. Shortly afterwards, her father passed away, and only two months later, her former partner succumbed to an overdose. At the same time, her home faced foreclosure due to her tenant's refusal to pay rent, and her injury claim was denied.
For her back pain, Cindy’s doctor prescribed an opioid medication that’s offered to many people with severe pain.
“It never made me feel high,” she says. “I just felt like I could function. I was in so much pain that I don't regret taking it. There was nothing else that could have helped with that level of pain.”
According to the Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction, pain is one of the most common reasons for seeking health care in North America. In Canada in 2018, almost one in eight people were prescribed opioids by their doctors. These drugs used to be promoted as “low-risk, non-addictive, effective treatments for moderate pain.”
However, the 2017 Canadian Guideline for Opioid Therapy and Chronic Non-Cancer Pain reports that opioids are associated with a 5.5% risk of addiction. Through no fault of her own, Cindy became part of that 5.5%, simply by taking a medication that her doctor at the time had prescribed.
She soon found she needed higher and higher doses to get through the day – a common experience for many people who take this type of medication. As well, during the 18 months she was working on tapering off the drug, she started to suffer severe withdrawal between doses.
“Every cell in my body was screaming – I couldn’t stand, walk, or think ... it was like having the worst flu,” she says.
Abandoned on many fronts
While Cindy was dealing with all these challenges, her house was foreclosed on, and as a result, her credit score plummeted. She moved to BC’s Interior, where she soon moved in with a new love interest. Unfortunately, she suffered emotional and physical abuse during the relationship, as well as after it ended.
“My ex told everyone I was a drug addict,” she says. “I was completely alone. Nobody ever asked for my side of the story.” Typically, her prescriptions would run out by Friday, leaving her alone in relentless withdrawal for the whole weekend, in a community where she had no support.
Cindy says she wanted to share this part of her story with the aim of giving others hope and demonstrating that overcoming adversity is possible.
“Same-sex abuse is something that people just don’t think exists,” she says. “People know about domestic partner abuse, but not female domestic partner abuse.” (Cindy points out that according to Statistics Canada, more than 20,000 incidents of same-sex intimate partner violence were reported in Canada between 2009 and 2017.)
One winter morning, it all became too much to bear, and Cindy felt ready to take her own life.
“I had huge bills, a town that hated me, an addiction to an opioid medication, and withdrawal every weekend,” she says. “If somebody had told me on day 1 how bad the withdrawal would be, I’m not sure I would have started.”
But with the help of one supportive friend, she found the courage to live, and decided to return to Northern BC.
“They treated me like an intelligent human being, not an addict”
The one positive from Cindy’s time in the Interior was her discovery of Suboxone, thanks to her own research. It’s a combination of two drugs, buprenorphine and naloxone, that help decrease withdrawal symptoms and long-term dependence on opioids.
Back in the North, she visited the Blue Pine Clinic in Prince George, where she met a pair of very supportive nurse practitioners.
“I was practically trembling when I walked in that door, because I was so worried I wouldn't get help,” she says. “They literally saved my life. They did it by not judging me, but by being partners in my health care with me. At the Blue Pine, I'm not a patient, I'm a client, and there's a real difference in the mindset. They treated me like a human being – an intelligent human being, not an addict.”
With the clinic’s help, she was soon receiving a stable amount of Suboxone, and then moved to a monthly injection of Sublocade, a similar medication.
“There was no judgement or condescension,” she says. “It was the first time in a long time where I felt like I wanted to live. They’re the best team of health care professionals that I’ve encountered anywhere in BC. They are, by far, above and beyond.”
Cindy wants others living with addiction to know that there are options. She feels the provincially mandated safer supply program, whereby doctors can prescribe “clean” versions of illicit drugs, reducing the risk of accidental deaths due to contaminated drugs, is a step forward. However, she feels that as part of the program, people should also be informed about ways to safely reduce their opioid addictions.
Additionally, she feels that a multipronged approach to pain control is vital; taking a prescription opiate that can result in addiction shouldn’t be the first solution. She’s an ongoing client of the Prince George Hospital Pain Clinic, which she describes as “by far the best pain clinic I've ever seen.”
Wraparound support is vital
Determined to build her life back up, Cindy won her case for long-term disability and watched her debts start to shrink. Through the Companion Paws program, she found her much-loved therapy dog and is now the proud co-owner of a new home.
This milestone was achieved with the support of a family member, and is part of Cindy’s journey to full home ownership within the next five years. “It’s a testament to the love and encouragement of my family,” she says.
Support from her family through the years has always been key, and it continues today as Cindy journeys through her recovery. She remains an advocate for Suboxone and Sublocade, and is eager to share her story in the hope of letting others who are living with addiction know about the treatments that helped her so much.
“I swear, for me to have this level of support, I have angels!” she says. “Everyone deserves this level of care.”
Good luck to Cindy on her inspiring upward path, and huge thanks to her for so courageously sharing her story!
Information and support:
For people living with addiction:
- Visit the Mental Health and Substance Use page on northernhealth.ca, which lists services by community. Many communities offer opioid agonist treatment like that described in this article, and some also have needle exchanges. Examples from the North’s largest centre, Prince George (these are available to all Northerners):
- Needle Exchange OAT (Opioid Agonist Therapy) Clinic, 250-645-3811
- Opioid Substitution Treatment Program, 250-645-7400
- Adult Withdrawal Management Unit (AWMU, aka Detox), 1-877-565-2175
- Explore Treatment and Recovery Programs in BC (BC Centre for Substance Use)
- Look into Opioid Agonist Treatment (OAT): Find a BC OAT clinic that’s accepting patients
- Visit the substance use section of the BC government site “HelpStartsHere”
- Call HealthLink BC at 8-1-1 to get help finding services or to talk to a health services navigator or a registered nurse. You can call from anywhere in BC 24/7.
For families and loved ones of people living with addiction:
- Family and caregiver resources (BC Centre on Substance Use)
- Family support (Moms Stop the Harm)
- Child and youth mental health and substance use resources for families (PDF - Northern Health
For people experiencing partner abuse:
- The Prince George & District Elizabeth Fry Society provides services and safe transitional housing for women who are experiencing partner abuse or violence, and their children. As well, the Society runs:
- The Eagle’s Nest Transition House in Burns Lake, a safe place for women and children who have experienced violence or are at risk of experiencing violence in the Lakes District.
- Family and sexual violence support services in Quesnel.
- Battered Women's Support Services – based in Vancouver, but anyone throughout Canada or even the world is welcome to use this service that helps those identifying as women and LGBTQ2S and non-binary people who are victims of gender-based violence. Call 1.855.687.1868 or email intake@bwss.org.
- VictimLink BC, a free confidential service in up to 150 languages, including many Indigenous languages. It provides information and referral services to all victims of crime and immediate crisis support to victims of family and sexual violence. It’s available 24/7 in BC and the Yukon; call or text 1-800-563-0808, or email VictimLinkBC@bc211.ca.
- BC 2-1-1, a free confidential service that connects people to resources in their communities. To contact them, call or text 211, or email them through their contact form. They provide information and referrals to services that can help you with:
- Basic needs like food and shelter
- Mental health and addictions support
- Legal and financial help
- Support for seniors
- And more
Comments